With Halloween just around the corner, it's time to bury some of the scary lube myths that continue to haunt bedrooms worldwide. Although personal lubricant has become more of a mainstream sexual wellness accessory, there are still so many misconceptions about arousal, saliva, and condom and toy compatibility that can make shopping more confusing and frustrating than it needs to be.
Bringing lube into the bedroom doesn't mean something is "wrong" with your body or sex life. Instead, it's an incredible tool that can open up doors to more pleasure, more comfortable sex and less friction during solo and partnered play. We're here to separate fact from fiction and lay some of the most common lube myths to rest.
Myth #1: Needing Lube Means Someone Isn't Aroused
If Megan Thee Stallion lyrics have left you feeling self-conscious that you're not naturally wet enough, rest easy: natural lubricant and sexual arousal are related, but they're not interchangeable. This myth points to a bigger cultural misunderstanding about lube. Many of us were taught that good sex should happen effortlessly, and that if you don't naturally get wet, something is wrong with you.
It's common for someone to feel mentally and physically excited without producing much natural lubrication, especially due to factors like hormonal changes, pregnancy or postpartum recovery, stress and anxiety, dehydration and medications. The disconnect is sometimes referred to as arousal nonconcordance: when the body's physical response doesn't match up with someone's subjective experience.
#LUBELIFE water-based and silicone formulas are #1 bestsellers on Amazon for a reason, and make a great entry point for anyone who isn't sure where to start.
Myth #2: Saliva Works Just as Well as Personal Lubricant
Spoiler alert: while it can be sexy (and convenient) in the moment, spit dries out quickly, leading to discomfort and irritation, as well as microtears in the skin. Lube, on the other hand, reduces friction without the need for constant reapplication and lets you stay present in the moment without having to stop.
It gives you sustained and customizable glide. While water-based products are easy to clean and versatile, silicone or hybrid formulas often last longer and have a silkier feel. FYI: this doesn't mean saliva can't be a part of consensual sexual play! It just shouldn't be used as a direct swap for a product designed to reduce friction.
Myth #3: Every Lubricant Works With Every Condom
Oil-based products can weaken latex and increase the likelihood of a condom tearing or breaking. If you're using latex condoms, it's better to use a silicone-based personal lubricant, and even then, check the label and condom manufacturer instructions before combining products!
Toy materials also matter. Water-based lubes generally work with most sex toys, while silicone-based formulas may degrade silicone toys over time. Fortunately, there are plenty of thicc and juicy water-based formulas on the market, especially if you opt for an anal formula.
Myth #4: All DIY Lubes Are "Natural" and Therefore Safer
"Natural" does not automatically mean body-safe or compatible with condoms and sex toys. Household products such as coconut oil, petroleum jelly, lotions and cooking oils are not formulated specifically for intimate use. Some can cause irritation, be difficult to clean, or weaken latex condoms and increase the risk of breakage, as discussed in one of our previous myths.
DIY recipes can also become contaminated if prepared or stored incorrectly. Plus, their pH and other properties may not suit sensitive intimate tissue. You're better off using a personal lubricant that's been formulated and tested for its intended use!